Doing nothing means unplugging from the compulsion to always keep ourselves busy, the habit of shielding ourselves from certain feelings, and the tension of trying to manipulate our experience before we even fully acknowledge what that experience is.
~ Sharon Salzberg
I have a comfy sweatshirt that I often wear, with the saying - Busy doing nothing.
Those who spend time with me think it’s ironic because I seldom sit still.
But this week, I am busy doing nothing.
My husband booked a six-day trip to the tropics to take advantage of a small window of opportunity before the arrival of our second grandchild.
Slowing down takes time
Most people’s minds are almost always too busy for them to feel their skin being caressed by the wind or the sun.
~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We all need downtime. It’s been a busy few months.
However, it’s not easy to transition from doing into being.
During the first day or so of our vacation, I welcomed the leisurely pace, but immediately thereafter started feeling restless.
Packing only a carry-on, I brought one book that I finished quickly.
At home, rather than read, I now listen to podcasts or audiobooks while doing other things - driving, cooking, or cleaning.
Sitting still to listen is not the same, although, admittedly, it is easier to process content at double the speed.
I’m not used to planning deliberate movement - a must-do here.
Having had no sun exposure in months, a couple of four-kilometre purposeful walks outside of peak sunlight was still more exposure than we could handle. I am now spending more time in the shade.
Found time for therapeutic journaling
The unexamined life is not worth living.
~ Socrates
With little else to do, I have taken advantage of the free time to finish my therapeutic journaling entries.
I’ve written about a very disturbing event in my life, uninterrupted for twenty minutes, on four consecutive days.
Trauma and stress can wreak havoc on the nervous system. To repair the damage we can either work with a therapist or use Dr. James Pennebaker's zero-cost expressive writing protocol.
I finished the first journal entry weeks ago, having committed to do so here. Re-reading it, I noticed that my writing was factual, with little emotional expression.
Expressing negatively charged emotions is a key component of this writing process. In subsequent episodes I made an effort to write negative thoughts and feelings experienced then and now, relating them back to my childhood and current life experience.
A week or two from now, I will reflect further on any changes I notice in my life, specifically how I feel, how I’m sleeping, and any change in memory.
What I can report currently is that the lingering tickle in my throat has passed, and I'm more at peace, less hyper-vigilant.
Closing thoughts
As the number of studies increased, it became clear that writing was a far more powerful tool for healing than anyone had ever imagined.
~ James W. Pennebaker
It may seem counterintuitive that writing about negative experiences can have such a positive healing effect.
Maybe when we take the time to write down our disturbing emotional experiences, we transform from victims into narrators with the power to observe and reflect. We reclaim our agency.
The difference between a victim and a victor is the meaning we attach to the stressful or traumatic event. Finding the hidden gift in our life experiences, no matter how painful, may allow letting go, repairing the nervous system.
For those who would like to try expressive writing, Dr. James Pennerbaker's offers the following instructions:
Over the next four days, I want you to write about your deepest emotions and thoughts about the most upsetting experience in your life. Really let go and explore your feelings and thoughts about it. In your writing, you might tie this experience to your childhood, your relationship with your parents, people you have loved or love now, or even your career. How is this experience related to who you would like to become, who you have been in the past, or who you are now?
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