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Writer's pictureMary Maciel Pearson

Expressing anger "good" or "bad"?

Updated: Jan 6, 2021


Do you often lose your temper? Are you easily irritated? Do you frequently yell at your spouse, your children, irresponsible drivers, what have you? Do you believe anger should be expressed, not suppressed?


Psychologists have been telling us for decades that feelings aren't right or wrong - they're just feelings. Unexpressed emotions (suppressed or repressed as in denying a feeling exists), especially in childhood, become embodied (part of the body) for better or for worse. In fact, Sigmund Freud at one point encouraged patients to express their anger to facilitate emotional clearing. 

But are angry outbursts actually "good" or "bad" when it comes to health? A growing body of research says they're "bad". Recognizing one's anger is the first step to transforming it, but expressing it with verbal or physical aggression causes harm. Even Freud discontinued his encouragement of its expression. (Of course infants and children should be encouraged to express all feelings in a healthy way.)

The word “anger” comes from the root word “angh" the same root as “angina” - as in chest pains - experienced when the arteries around the heart are blocked. Current research suggests angry outbursts dramatically increase our susceptibility to heart disease. Irritation, physical or emotional, leads to inflammation, and inflammation is the physical root cause of heart disease, and other chronic conditions. In his 2003 book, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress, Dr. Gabor Maté highlighted a vast number of studies linking stress to cancer and other health concerns.

Among my clients, friends, family and colleagues, it has become apparent that frequent angry outbursts, especially because they are coupled with feeling ashamed about the behaviour, can be the underlying cause of otherwise unexplained weight gain. Studies do show that, like anger, shame too increases markers of inflammation. And as Dr. Mark Hyman says "Being fat is being inflamed — period!" -- Sometimes we have to get healthy to lose weight, but the underlying cause to be addressed may be emotional.


We may react with anger and hostility when we feel threatened or perceive danger. The body is flooded with stress hormones preparing one to fight or flee. In life threatening situations such chemistry can be life saving. But perceiving and reacting to non-life threatening situations with the same chemistry and behaviour routinely, is destructive to health. What to do? By activating the vagus nerve, which is found in the brainstem, stretching down through the organs in the torso, we can turn back on the rest and relax arm of the nervous system. A major role of the vagus is to control inflammation all over the body. How do we activate it? The following guidelines shed some light.

Guidelines for dealing with anger?


  1. Recognize it, but choose to respond to it differently. Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl said it best, "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

  2. Pause. Take a deep breath, hum or gargle to activate the vagus nerve. Calm down. Realize that we are all at different stages of growth and development. No need to chastise or punish anyone.

  3. Consider HeartMath. Through head and heart coherence it helps one see stress as an untransformed opportunity for empowerment.

  4. Meditate. Google "guided meditations for anger management". Michael Sealy has a great one. Done either upon awakening or before falling asleep it will reduce the likelihood of over-reacting to non-life threatening perceived threats.

  5. Patience is the antidote to anger. Some have not had all of their basic physiological needs yet met, so may not be as enlightened as you. Be patient. 

  6. Remember the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Wishing you peace and serenity.



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