A few years ago, when I found myself disillusioned, having failed to accomplish yet another lofty goal, a wise man said, “You’ll find that as time progresses, you’ll do less and accomplish more.”
I had no idea what he was talking about, but he subtly invited me to consider a realm of healing I’d hitherto ignored. His words uprooted a self-limiting thought and planted a new seed of hope.
I nourished and watered that seed until it blossomed.
Because I had worked so hard, searching high and low, stepping outside of my comfort zone, contacting experts and stakeholders in the field, learning to reference every fact, what I do now seems trivial - so much easier to accomplish.
The initial pain, translated into significant gain in my career. I also learned that, it does not feel like work, when you finally find something you can hardly wait to get up in the morning to do, even if no one is paying you to do it. What a great life lesson!
But most importantly, I learned to associate pain with growth and transformation. While all living things resist change, without pain we would not evolve.
In mid life, we often feel drained. We may feel like our bodies are conspiring against us. We build up the courage to try something new, but quickly feel defeated, when results are not immediately forth coming. Self-limiting thoughts arise.
My advice? Be kind to yourself. Perhaps the body is really crying out for some healing - a little "me time" - to energize your future ability to be of meaningful service to others.
But, also be aware that the body resists change. It prefers to maintain status quo – homeostasis – equilibrium.
Following are a few examples of how I have learned to overcome some of the daily challenges I experience:
When I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep, I think “Great. Now I can do a guided meditation and save myself a little time in the morning.” More often than not, I fall asleep, part way through it.
When I feel excessively hot, I think, ”The body is self-healing. Perspiration helps purge toxins and infectious agents.”
Confronted with house and yard work to do, I re-frame the chores as active daily living, and putting loving care into the home we are privileged to have.
Every time I think “Why am I writing these blogs, when so few seem to be reading them?” In the middle of the night last night, the answer occurred to me. I read so many blogs and seldom comment, yet benefit greatly from the many morsels of wisdom shared. I have to give, what I want to get. Reflecting further, I have used this forum to practice my writing skills and rather than soliciting readership, I have left it to my friends to share it, if so inclined. Constructive feedback helps me cater to my audience.
Failure becomes an opportunity to learn something new. At this stage I do not worry about being judged, nor do I judge others. We’re all on different paths leading to the same destiny.
Paying attention to what seem like hunger pains, and asking myself, “What nourishment am I really craving?” First of alI, I have come to realize that hunger is a habit. It comes in waves. Or, that I am just thirsty or perhaps craving self-love and kindness. I never feel the need to numb emotional pain with food or any other substance.
Feeling sore after unusual physical exertion, I’ve come to learn is a way my body rebels to maintain status quo. Change is a stress the body resists, but sometimes exactly what it needs to increase strength and resilience. However, I allow ample time for recovery.
Pay attention to your body’s many cries. Determine if they are health promoting or health resisting. Awareness helps create change. Then take small steps in the right direction. Enjoy the process.
None of these are my original ideas. I do “stand on the shoulders of giants”, too many to name here. But I thank James Clear for inspiring this blog.
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