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Writer's pictureMary Maciel Pearson

Pain: A cry for help

Updated: Jun 14, 2021


Turn your wounds into wisdom.


~ Oprah Winfrey


A few years ago, I had the opportunity to train a highly accomplished woman. I’ll call her Maya.


In mid-life, Maya was struggling to achieve her ideal weight.


Her weight retention had nothing to do with sloth and gluttony.


Diets, no matter how healthy, did not seem to work for her. Nor did her disciplined gym exercise.


Maya had a very demanding job in human resources. She cared about the people she was responsible for hiring, firing and managing. Her decisions were never made lightly.


Maya appeared to be carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.


She claimed to have no health concerns. Her rheumatoid arthritis, diagnosed eleven years prior, was well managed with an injectable disease-modifying drug, and at times steroidal anti-inflammatories.


I had read the product monographs for her medications. I knew the countless adverse effects associated with long-term use. Working as a personal trainer, it was beyond my scope of practice to point these out.


From my perspective however, in the physical realm, the cause of her excess weight was swelling and water retention - a common long-term side-effect from her treatment.


Become curious about the pain


Out of curiosity, I asked Maya if anything else had happened around the time of her diagnosis. She looked at me with some contemplation and said, "I have never had this question asked of me before.”


The answer was "yes". I learned that her daughter went away to college and became pregnant. Although Maya loves the grandchild she has helped raise, it was a pretty traumatic experience for all.


Maya did not have the luxury of time to deal with her emotions. The unexpected pregnancy may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. She had to show up at work. To do so, she had to numb the pain. She could not appear vulnerable.


What she resisted persisted and had to be controlled artificially.


Although disease-modifying drugs and steroidal anti-inflammatories can make life more bearable, working with a qualified mind-body therapist to address a potential non-structural underlying cause may prevent becoming a patient for life.

A growing body of research demonstrates that psychological trauma is a risk factor for developing chronic physical pain.


Feeling ashamed increases inflammation. Inflammation is the root cause of countless chronic conditions, including arthritis.


Think about the posture of avoidance related to expressing fear (shame) or anger. The constriction and tension can become embodied as pain due to lack of blood flow to an area that is susceptible.


Pain: the great teacher


Pain is a great teacher. It is a signal that something in our life needs to change. We can numb it or become curious about the lesson embedded in it.


What may appear to be a physical ailment may originate from suppressed feelings and past hurts.


Despite ergonomically designed workspaces, orthopaedic mattresses, massages and physiotherapy, chronic pain is more common in developed countries. In developing countries, where physically demanding labour is non-negotiable for survival, chronic pain is less evident.

From Dr Ronald Siegel, Harvard Medical School Professor, and Dr John E. Sarno, Professor of Rehabilitation Medicine at New York University School of Medicine, I learned about the lack of correlation between structural findings (from scans and MRI’s) and chronic pain.

For example, the majority of people with bulging or herniated discs experience no pain whatsoever. And, fake knee surgeries have alleviated pain through the power of thought - or the placebo effect.

Dr Siegel talks about the pain - fear - tension loop. Pain creates fear of disability, amplifies sensitivity and tightens muscles. Resisting pain impairs its transience. We can become stuck in it. Dr Siegel teaches mindfulness to help overcome the resistance that fuels pain.


Dr John E. Sarno coined the acronym TMS for Tension Myositis (aka Myoneural) Syndrome. In his books, he reveals that many painful conditions are rooted in repressed emotions and can be healed without drugs, physical therapies or surgery.


Dr Sarno taught his patients to identify the emotional roots of their TMS. Then he helped them to sever the connections between mental and physical pain. He believed that physical pain is a distraction that keeps us from exploring unresolved emotional trauma.


If you or a loved one is experiencing physical pain, I highly recommend you consider the following resources:

  • Dr Ron Siegel’s interview on chronic pain here or his books linked here

  • Dr John E. Sarno’s books linked here

Of course, you have to rule out dangerous stuff before embarking on a mindfulness-based healing approach.


Given training Maya was very temporary for me, I cannot tell you if she has achieved her weight release goals. But, I did plant some seeds. Hopefully she chose to water them.


I have complete conviction that letting go of fear and resistance, and allowing repressed, painful emotions to surface, can heal pain instantaneously. It has happened for me as I explained here and several others whose stories I will continue to share.


What to do

  • Pay attention to your emotions.

  • Listen to your body's cry for help.

  • Emotions become embodied when suppressed. Emote them safely.

  • Reframe trauma as an opportunity for growth and transformation.

  • Forgive without condoning bad behaviour.

  • Replace painful emotions with feelings of joy and gratitude.

  • Share the lessons you learned. Pay it forward.

Heal your mind to heal the body.






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