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Writer's pictureMary Maciel Pearson

Understand anger and learn to manage it


Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.  


~ Mark Twain


Anger, characterized by intense annoyance, displeasure, or hostility, is an adaptive response to a threat. 


It can trigger powerful, aggressive feelings and behaviours, preparing one to fight or flee when attacked. 


Anger can manifest as a range of feelings, from mild irritation to intense rage.


A certain amount of anger is necessary for survival, but living in a state of anger is destructive, occasionally causing more harm to the person feeling it than the intended target. 


A recent randomized controlled experiment showed that a brief provocation of anger adversely affected the lining of blood vessels, impairing their ability to dilate.


Unresolved anger detrimentally affects the heart.


Learning how to react when triggered starts in childhood. A parent or caregiver who reacts angrily when a toddler tests boundaries models behaviour that the child will emulate.


Guidelines for managing anger?


Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space, is the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.


~ Viktor Frankl

  1. Pause. Breathe, hum, or gargle to activate the vagus nerve promoting a more relaxed state.

  2. Anger is a stress response. Click here to listen to a TEDTalk on how to reframe stress.

  3. Try this guided meditation.. Do it either upon awakening or before falling asleep to reduce the likelihood of overreacting to perceived threats.

  4. Patience is the antidote to anger. Some may not have all their basic needs met. Have compassion. Be patient. 

  5. Remember the Serenity Prayer: 

    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 

    the courage to change the things I can, 

    and the wisdom to know the difference.

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