Your outcomes are a lagging measure of your habits…
The fourth blog, in my AGE-WELL series, focuses on the use of willpower to change habits.
Almost half of what we do daily we do on autopilot. We are not present. We are mentally checked-out.
The chains of habit may be strong and resistant but not impossible to break.
With some willpower initially, followed by skill power and mindfulness, we can change behaviour and become better versions of ourselves.
For better or for worse, given the right trigger, a behaviour can occur without conscious thought or control. A personal example is my tendency to put things away without thinking. I see shoes or coats at the front door and immediately place them in the closet.
Gotta have the front entrance clutter-free. Don’t want people tripping over things. These thoughts and beliefs are hard-wired into my brain. For the most part, I believe they have served me well - although, at times, I risk annoying my husband.
But habitual behaviour may not always be helpful. And sometimes it takes a traumatic event to realize we have self-limiting thoughts and beliefs that have created habits, triggered by environmental inputs, that shaped an outcome that may be causing us grief.
There is hope, however. Once identified we can consciously choose to change these behaviours, and in the process change our destiny.
Neurons that fire together, wire together.
~ Donald Hebb 1940’s
Physically, as we learn something new, we wire together brain cells needed to activate the behaviour. We create a new pathway. The brain physically changes.
Neuroscientists refer to this as plasticity. Current research reveals that our brain function can continue to improve as we age. We can bundle and physically reinforce the brain cells needed to activate a new skill or behaviour.
To change a habit, Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, recommends that first, we identify the trigger that prompts the behaviour. It could be a location, a time of day, an emotional state, other people, or a pattern of behaviours that consistently trigger a routine followed by a reward sensation.
He provides a personal example of going to the cafeteria daily, between three and three-thirty in the afternoon, to get a chocolate chip cookie. This habit was not serving him well. It had lead to weight gain.
Duhigg realized that the trigger seemed to be the time of day. He became curious about what reward he was seeking. It became apparent that he was bored and just craving conversation with other employees, not the cookie. Having discovered this, Duhigg was able to replace the cookie habit with a brief visit with fellow workers. He lost twelve pounds in the process.
Willpower is like a muscle. It fatigues when heavily relied upon. Developing skill power and mindfulness helps reduce our reliance on willpower.
Imagine if every time we went out for a drive, we had to think about each move we executed, as would a first-time driver! That would be draining. Driving is an example of how practice makes progress, and the acquired skill power reduces the need to rely on willpower overtime. Performance becomes more efficient and less stressful.
Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Mindfulness - being present and focusing on the task at hand - helps when it becomes essential to change habits that no longer serve us. It is a skill worth taking the time to develop. It helps level well-worn pathways in the brain, facilitating a more thoughtful response when triggered.
In the gap between trigger and reaction, if we show up in a better state (mindfully) we respond better.
Practice need not make permanent. An effort is needed to stop repeating something we tend to do habitually. To create change, initially, we must rely upon willpower. Awareness helps create change. With some skill power and mindfulness, we can re-wire the brain to respond wisely when triggered. Doing so will help us become better versions of ourselves.
A call to action
Today I invite you to assess your response to the current pandemic. Has it caused mistrust, us versus them thinking, judgment of others who do not see things as you do? If yes, you're not alone. You're human. But it may be time to become a little more open-minded and compassionate. We can use challenging life events to launch a new and better version of ourselves. This mindfulness meditation series may help.
The filter through which we see things may need changing to create a picture of a more inclusive reality. It can take a crisis of this magnitude to shed some light on hidden beliefs we have been carrying around and attitudes that colour our perceptions and reactions. Connection, not alienation, is the path to health and well-being. Perhaps the time has come to break the habit of being ourselves.
I leave you with this poem to ponder. I heard it here, a talk at Google by Dr. Ron Siegel on The Science of Mindfulness.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still treat each guest honourably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
~ Rumi
Comentarios