Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.
~ Gautama Buddha
When the time comes to pressing “Publish” on my blog site, I often pause, read, re-read, edit. At times I scrap the whole thing and start again. It is a privilege to share widely. I do not take it lightly.
I recognize the power of words to influence, heal or wound. But this week, I made a mistake. I shared a sensationalized headline (clickbait) with a loved one who trusts me as a source. I violated their trust.
What I should have pasted was the link to the actual scientific study in pre-print. Having seen my mistake, I sent it shortly after. Sadly, the relevant information came too late. The sensationalized headline was re-posted and shared widely.
Words, thoughts and feelings matter. Repeated thoughts become beliefs, which lead to words and actions. Never has it become more crucial to find common ground, both personally and professionally. Yet, inadvertently, I contributed to promoting divisiveness.
I felt ashamed. That was the appropriate feeling - a natural consequence. Long term feelings of shame wreak havoc on our physiology. It causes inflammation. But it also nudges us to make things right.
We are human, and we make mistakes. Admitting and apologizing when we have misspoken or misbehaved is appropriate and healing. Shame is our built-in emotion nudging us to do the right thing.
Right now, people are scared and confused. We have become divided. When divided, we become vulnerable. My vision is to become part of the solution, not the problem.
We mustn’t be afraid to take up space and share an informed opinion, but we want to build bridges, not barriers.
This event inspired me to read the books listed below. I believe we can all benefit from the late Marshall Rosenberg’s life mission to help us communicate more compassionately. It takes courage to stand up for what we believe is right. We have to learn to do it respectfully - peacefully.
Books by Marshall Rosenberg, PhD:
Speak Peace in a World of Conflict: What You Say Next Will Change Your World
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion
The Surprising Purpose of Anger: Beyond Anger Management: Finding the Gift
Closing remarks
Chaos and disruption provide an opportunity to reinvent - to do better, to become better versions of ourselves. I am committed to doing so and it will start by working even harder to choose the right words.
Please note: September is a time for new beginnings. I will start posting my blogs on Friday, rather than Saturday.
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